i found myself insanely relating to these lyrics.

you know, time can only help so much of your pain. emotional pain tends to stay with you, especially when it's fresh in your memory. something that happened 4 years ago can be so vivid in your mind that it still hurts you to breathe when the images are flashed in your head. i find it funny that i can't remember to take the garbage out or do dishes, but i can remember little fights that broke a relationship like they are currently happening. i feel everything that i felt at that exact moment, and it hurts to breathe. memories will make or break you. i wish i could chose the good ones, and erase the bad ones. but without the bad ones, i wouldn't have the good ones. for every action, there is a reaction. bad balances out the good, and without those bad memories, i wouldn't have the good ones that make me miss him so much sometimes.

why is it that we claim to dislike someone so much, but we find ourselves wondering what it would be like to still be with them? do we truly want what we can't have? or can we not have it because we want it so much. is it possible to want something so bad and not know how to fight for it? or do we not fight for it because we fear we can't have it anyway? and why am i filled with so many hypothetical questions? theories are pouring out of my veins, and i still don't have an answer for any questions i really wanted answered.

here's the song.

Better in time
Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: X2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

tootles